It’s been years. That is the amount of time that I committed myself to Mike.

A marriage is held together by the ordinary and remarkable aspects of life, such as the eight years of shared meals, whispered dreams, occasional disputes followed by makeup, and all of the other things that constitute a marriage.

To my mind, we were a cohesive unit. Unmovable and unmovable. When he put his hand in mine, I believed it meant forever.

It turned out that forever had a time limit, and that time limit was marked on a Tuesday evening that began like any other and concluded with my entire life being turned upside down like a cheap card table.

When I stepped inside our house, I was fatigued from work but relieved to be back in my safe area. However, I came to a complete and utter halt in the entryway of the living room.

The couch in which I was sitting was occupied by a woman who was significantly pregnant and chewing on chips as if it were her natural habitat.

My brain spent a full ten seconds trying to persuade me that I had not entered the correct house but rather the wrong one.

On the other hand, there was that terrible floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on preserving, the bookshelf that we bought jointly that was crooked, and right there, sitting anxiously opposite from Miss Munch-and-Crunch, was Mike.

It’s me, Mike. On the other hand, all of a sudden, he did not resemble that of mine.

“Hey, Michelle,” he continued, using that annoyingly casual tone that men adopt when they are going to ruin your life. “Hey, Michelle.” “We need to have a conversation.”

I was greeted by the pregnant woman with a peculiar and arrogant smile, and her hand was gently rubbing her tummy as if she were starring in some major soap opera.

My gut was in a knot. He then made a motion toward her after clearing his throat. Hi, my name is Jessica. … she is expecting a child. Alongside my child. Just now, it took place. We have made the decision to be together.

There was a brief moment when I believed that he was joking. Keeping an eye out for covert cameras. While we wait for Ashton Kutcher to emerge from the building and cry “Punk’d!” However, the quiet exerted a significant amount of pressure. While Mike appeared to be completely serious, Jessica gleamed as if she had just been awarded a trophy.

I was attracted to him. It simply took place, right? “What, did you trip and end up colliding with her?”

He actually had the audacity to appear insulted at me. I’ve had enough, Michelle. This is a true concern. In my opinion, it would be better if you moved out. Visiting your mother is an option for you. Jess and I are going to… we are going to take over the house.

Yes, that was it. The blade of the knife twisted. The ground began to fall. I had been cast aside in only a matter of seconds. Those eight years of devotion and loyalty were thrown away like they were old leftovers.

Shock, on the other hand, only lasts for a limited amount of time. The wrath came pouring in like gasoline hunting for a match once the numbness had been extinguished. And darling, I had matches in my box.

In a composed manner, I stated that I would pack up and depart, and I did so. I gathered my belongings, went out the door, and then drove to my mother’s house. However, I started making plans that night as I was sitting in the quiet of her guest room. This is not the kind of strategy that involves crying into a pillow. The opposite is true; this was the kind of scheme that would make karma proud.

I went to the bank the very following morning and froze our joint accounts. I did this for the very first time. Every last dime and cent is safely stashed away. Mike believed that he was going to utilize my sweat and money that I had worked so hard to earn in order to play home with Jessica. Don’t be too sure. When I recounted it to him, the manager of the bank even got a smirk on his face, most likely putting it away for his “best customer stories” to tell over drinks.

My next stop was at a locksmith’s shop. Oh, and I also changed the locks on the door. Not merely straightforward locks, but rather the most sophisticated and intricate high-security locks that money could purchase. Mike was in for a rude awakening if he believed that he was just transferring Jessica into the house and moving me out of the house.

Afterward, the movers arrived. In addition to the ridiculous toilet paper, I booked them to clear away everything that I had, including the furniture, clothes, and decorations. If I had purchased it, it would have been going. Allow them to take pleasure in the empty walls and rooms that echo.

Now, what is the crowning achievement? Exactly, that was my masterpiece. I invited everyone I could think of, including Mike’s relatives, his friends, his coworkers, and even the nosy neighbor who once called the police because our dog growled too loudly. I sent out invites to virtually everyone. The invitations bore the following text: “Come celebrate Mike’s fresh beginning! A surprise celebration will be held at our home tomorrow at seven o’clock!

As a result of my natural talent for the theatrical, I went one step further than originally planned. “Congratulations, Mike, for dumping me for your pregnant mistress!” was written in huge letters on a massive billboard that was put on our yard. It was impossible to miss. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that the child won’t inherit your infidelity!

On the evening of the “party,” anarchy began to take hold. Mike dialed the number, his voice screaming into the phone like a kettle on the verge of exploding. It’s Michelle! This is a complete and utter mystery. As to why there are individuals there at the house. In what way am I unable to enter? I don’t understand why this billboard is so ridiculous!

Laughing, I took a sip of wine. You mean that? You two are in for a small surprise celebration, just for sure. In addition, I altered the locks, so you won’t be able to enter the building. Is it possible that I failed to specify that the house is solely in my name? My apologies.”

Any symphony could not compare to the sweetness of the silence that followed. Following that, there was a stuttering sound: “Where are we supposed to go?”

“I’m sorry, dolly, I’m not sure. Could it be that Jessica’s mother has an extra couch? I’ve heard that pregnancy hormones and in-laws make for a wonderful synergy. I hung up after that.

However, that was not the end of it. In addition to filing for divorce, I had the utilities turned off and the television service terminated. I had the papers delivered to Mike at his place of employment by a messenger who was dressed as a pregnant woman for an added touch of panache. Is it petty? Perhaps. Is it the case? Yes, without a doubt.

Not only that, but the cosmos was not yet finished with him both. Within the span of a week, Jessica phoned me while crying. “Michelle, I was completely unaware… He told me that the two of you were splitting up! I am pregnant, and he is broke and homeless at this point… Honestly, I have no idea what to do!

I almost felt sorry for her. Not quite. But then I recalled her arrogant expression while she was sitting on my couch. “All right, Jessica, perhaps the two of you might find a job in the circus. You play the role of the infant while he juggles lies. Make a click. The call has come to an end.

Shortly after that, Jessica separated from him. She came to the realization that love does not pay the bills, with no money, no house, and no future. The joke of the town was Mike, who was looked down upon by both his family and his friends. In the meantime, I was able to earn a respectable profit from the sale of the house, purchase a stunning new residence for myself, launch my own company, and adopt a cat. Naturally, we gave him the name Karma.

And each time I take a drink of wine in my jacuzzi, I am reminded of that billboard, that turmoil, and that vengeance that was so well designed that it could have been stitched by fate itself. Because when someone attempts to bring your world down, the best thing you can do is hand them the matches and watch them choke on the smoke. Because there are moments when you can’t help but do that.

Mike was under the impression that he had expelled me. But in point of fact? I sent him slamming into the arms of karma with another kick. And I’ve discovered that karma has claws that are more pointed than those of any cat.