A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again.

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! I must be in my age group, not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile, and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

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A 70-year-old woman chose to remain overnight in a costly hotel

A 70-year-old woman decided to stay at an expensive hotel for her birthday.

The next morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She wanted to know why the charge was too high.

“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the clerk.

The clerk clarified that $250.00 is the standard price. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager.

The manager introduced himself and explained that the hotel “has an Olympic size swimming pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”

“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.

“Well, they’re there and you could have,” he replied.

The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.

“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.

“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.

The manager replied, “Well, we have them and you could have them.”

Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”

The manager then replied with his standard reaction. After arguing with him for several minutes, she decided to pay.

The manager was shocked when she handed him the check. “But ma’am, this check is only $50.00,” he said.

“That’s right. I charged you $200.00 for s-l.eeping with me,” replied the old lady.

“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have,” the old woman replied.

Don’t mess with Senior Citizens, they spent a lifetime learning the skills… !!!

Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!