An old farmer was hauling a wagon full of manure when a state trooper pulled him over.

“You were speeding,” the officer said. “I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”

“Yep,” the farmer replied, watching as the trooper swatted at a cloud of buzzing flies.

“These flies are awful,” complained the trooper.

“Yep,” said the farmer. “Those are circle flies.”

“Circle flies?” asked the trooper.

“Yep,” the farmer explained. “They’re the kind that circle a horse’s backside.”

The trooper narrowed his eyes. “You’re not calling me a horse’s ass, are you?”

“Nope,” the farmer said calmly. “But you just can’t fool them flies.”

Jacob’s Tricky Questions
One day in class, Jacob grinned mischievously and asked his teacher:

“Teacher, how do you put an elephant in the fridge?”

She frowned. “I don’t know—how?”

“Easy,” Jacob said. “You open the door and put it in!”

Before she could respond, he asked another:
“How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?”

The teacher smiled. “Same way—you open the door and put it in.”

Jacob shook his head. “Nope. First you take the elephant out, then you put the giraffe in.”

He wasn’t done. “All the animals went to the lion’s birthday party—except one. Which one?”

“The lion?” guessed the teacher.

“Nope,” Jacob laughed. “The giraffe—he’s still in the fridge!”

Finally, Jacob asked, “If a river is full of alligators, how do you cross it?”

The teacher thought for a moment. “You’d use the bridge.”

Jacob grinned. “Nope—you swim across. All the alligators are at the lion’s birthday party!”